No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
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