Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
