I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
our cab driver is having phone sex.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize