Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Randomize
