What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
