i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
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