never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
