another moral hangover. fuck.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Randomize
