if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
