just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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