i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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