I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
