there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Vodka?
Forever.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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