I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
