You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize