I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
