woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
