I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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