My brain says no but my pants say off.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
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