Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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