Umm I'm too high to move.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
