That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Randomize
