carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Randomize
