Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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