If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
We got so high we made milksteak
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
