She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
