A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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