is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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