I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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