life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
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