shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize
