just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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