yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
