is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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