I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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