He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
