I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
