Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
