There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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