You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
