he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Randomize