their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Randomize
