the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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