hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
