i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
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