your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Randomize
