you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize