How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Randomize
