I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize