Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
