do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Randomize
