don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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