no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Randomize
