You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
