do herpes really smell.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
