a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
