the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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