two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
