I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
