You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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