dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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