so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Randomize