you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
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