i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
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