im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
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