I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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