went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
