I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Where did you get a picture of my penis
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize