If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
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