Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize
