All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Randomize
