so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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