I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
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