You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
