she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
